Trial by Silence Page 14

  Nallayyan declined the offer, saying, ‘I cannot even bear the smell.’

  The man did not force him any further. But he freely spoke his mind to Nallayyan that day. He said to him that while he might have had the freedom to wander around and see the world, there was still a big sense of lack in his life. He was childless. ‘No matter how rich you are,’ said the man, ‘it is a child who brings that special sparkle to a house. That’s the one thing lacking in this house. I have even married twice, but nothing has worked. We have also tried all sorts of medicines and prayers and rituals and magic—with no results whatsoever. That’s why I have come up with this new idea.’ Having said this, the man stopped.

  Nallayyan Uncle too paused the story at this point. Kali fetched the gourd-skin pitcher from inside the hut and poured some toddy into a cup. Nallayyan Uncle said, ‘Even a toddy tapper wouldn’t have such a steady supply at his place! How did you get used to drinking this stinking nonsense?’ Kali just laughed. Nallayyan Uncle sat watching him drink, and resumed his story.

  The landlord had then said to him, ‘What do we do when a cow does not get pregnant? We try mating it with a bull a few times. Then we change the bull and try again. So why not do the same with humans? What’s wrong with that? You are the new bull to have come to this house now. You have no bad habits. Just stay here for another month, and let us try doing this—mating the cow with the new bull.’ Nallayyan was stunned and didn’t know how to respond to that. The man nonetheless tried to convince him in various ways: ‘It is all just skin, this body. It is tight and firm today, but will it stay this way after ten years? It will shrink and become useless. Why worry about this body? If I did not have this landlord status and all this prestige that goes with it, I’d send them to get pregnant by anyone. But this status weighs like a heavy burden.’

  Recalling that incident, Nallayyan Uncle now said, ‘I did not know how to say no to such an important man. So I did stay there for a month. Then the landlord had children. Not one, but two. One each for both wives. Now the children have grown and they travel in horse-drawn coaches.’ And thus did Nallayyan Uncle end the story.

  Kali burped loudly. Nallayyan Uncle could not see his face in the dark. He whispered, ‘Don’t share this with anyone else. If it becomes known, those people will have me killed. Not just me, they will kill you too.’ Kali said nothing in response. He wondered if Nallayyan Uncle had a particular motive behind telling him this story. He sighed, and said, ‘Tell me when you want to have the wedding. We can also involve my brother-in-law Muthu in this. If he is with us, I will feel a bit more confident too.’

  ‘But didn’t you say your ties with them are severed for now?’ Nallayyan Uncle asked.

  ‘So what?’ said Kali. ‘That’s between us. He can still come to your wedding. Ponna acted impulsively and cut her ties with them.’

  ‘All right, then. Next week, I plan to go to the Manchaami temple in Mangoor with a group of pilgrims. I have never gone there by foot before. Do you know why my parents named me Nallayyan? Nallayyan is the clan deity for my father’s family. And Nallayyan is no one but Manchaami in Mangoor. So I want to go there and put in a good word. We can have the wedding after that.’

  Kali then asked him, ‘Can I go on the pilgrimage with you, Uncle?’

  TWENTY-THREE

  Ponna was not happy that Kali was setting out on this pilgrimage at a time when there was a lot of work to do in the fields. But she knew she would not be able to make him change his plans. Besides, Seerayi was actually keen that Kali went on this trip. ‘He needs to travel and see places and meet people,’ she said. ‘He can’t just be shut up in the barnyard, drinking toddy all the time. He doesn’t even know how to converse with people, does he? You were the only one who was so besotted with him. No one else seems to care for him. He needs to understand that what we get depends on what we give. So let him go. We can handle the work in the fields. I know it will be difficult for a month, but I still have some strength in this body. So we will take care of it.’

  Ponna knew this was a big step for Seerayi.

  ‘Have a safe journey, my dear,’ said Seerayi to her son. ‘Pray to Manchaami that he should bless you with right thinking.’ And then to Nallayyan, she said, ‘I have never let him go anywhere like this. He has only roamed around the Karattur area for ten or fifteen years, but even then he was with his group of friends. Once he got married, he hasn’t gone anywhere, and this is the first time he is doing something like this. I am letting him go only because I know you are with him. Please don’t abandon him along the way and wander off on your own. Let him interact with people.’

  Nallayyan Uncle laughed. ‘I understand, sister-in-law. You are setting your child down on my hip. Don’t worry. I will feed him milk at the right time, take good care of him and return him safely to you.’

  Until Kali was around, neither Seerayi nor Ponna had to worry about the fields. In the wake of the temple festival, Kali had at first stopped working in the fields and would just lie on his cot and stare listlessly at the ceiling. But after Seerayi spoke to him about it several times, he had slowly resumed his tasks. Now it was winter. They couldn’t start the work early in the morning. Also, they had to finish all the work even earlier and return home before dusk. The big question was how to keep watch over the barnyard. Kali had simply said, ‘Amma, you sleep in the barn at night.’ But how could Seerayi leave Ponna alone in the house in the village? Ponna was in her final trimester, and she found it hard even to sit down and get back up. Her belly had grown quite big. The midwife had told them, looking at the size of Ponna’s belly, that it would be a boy. Ponna tried to keep herself as active as she could, so she walked around a bit and also did some cooking.

  But how could Seerayi leave her alone at home in the night? Perhaps they could ask Porasa to send one of her children to keep Ponna company at night. But they were all quite young, and would fall asleep promptly at night and wake up very late in the morning. So they wouldn’t be of much use to Ponna. If she had not cut off her ties with her family, by now her parents from Adaiyur would have landed up to take care of her. They would even have brought one of their farmhands to watch over the barnyard here in Kali’s absence and taken Ponna back home with them. Whenever Seerayi ran into Vallayi in the market, they both became teary-eyed thinking about their situation. ‘She did it unthinkingly,’ mourned Vallayi. ‘Now we cannot even go and see our own daughter.’

  ‘The rules of separation do not apply to the farmhand,’ Seerayi once tried to persuade Ponna. ‘Shall I send for him?’

  But Ponna vehemently refused. ‘The shoes we remove outside the house should stay right there,’ she insisted. ‘We don’t have to bring them into the house.’

  Eventually Seerayi decided to go by Ponna’s plans, and they both moved to the barn for the time being. All they needed to take with themselves were a few pots and pans. They already had some cooking utensils in the barn, since they had cooked there in the past. There was also a spice box there. Ponna felt that they should now stay in one place and not shuttle back and forth between the house and the barnyard. She at least wanted to give it a try.

  Her optimism lasted a day. It was very cold in the barnyard. The cold weather felt like needles pricking them all over their bodies. The hut was decently warm at first. But since Kali had trimmed the thatched panels on the inside to keep termites away, and because the hut did not have a wall but only thatched panels, the cold entered through the gaps. The next day, they blocked these gaps with all the palm fronds and thatched panels they could find lying about. Ponna spread two blankets on the cot and used two more blankets to cover herself on top. She also found some jute bags. She spread some of these on the cot, and also inserted her feet into one when she went to bed. Despite the chilly weather, Seerayi rose early in the morning and, wearing a jute bag over her head for protection, attended to the tasks in the cattle shed. She told Ponna not to step out of the house until it was sufficiently warm during the day. At night, they made su
re they finished all the tasks before going to bed, so that they did not have to step out in the middle of the night. But despite all these preparations, Ponna was not sure how long they would last there.

  She wouldn’t worry if it was just the cooking work and the chores in the cattle shed. But there were other things to do. Maize had grown tall in the fields. Kali had done the sowing late, out of step with all the other fields growing maize. So the crop was ready, with ears of corn shooting erect. They had to harvest them and bring them in safely. Seerayi was worried about this. But Kaaraan’s daughter-in-law Vengayi arrived there at just the right time. Ponna knew Vengayi from before. She must have been Ponna’s age, but she was struggling to take care of her three children. Harvest work was over in all the other fields, so Vengayi had come to see if there was any work here. The timing turned out to be perfect for Ponna.

  If they employed a lot of people for the harvest, it would become difficult to oversee the work. But she could manage things with Vengayi. So she told Vengayi to come every day to work for a month. She had to start work in the fields in the morning. Then at midday, she could drink some water-soaked leftovers right there and keep working. And she could leave before sunset. One rupee a day was what she was paid. Ponna became confident that she could get the work done with Vengayi’s help. She first decided to streamline things in the barnyard. She asked Vengayi to carry two pots and two large-mouthed earthen pots and place them close to the well where they draw and release water. This way, they could fill them up with water right there. She also set aside a pot for Vengayi’s use. Seerayi would draw water from the well and pour it into Vengayi’s pot. Vengayi would carry it to the larger pots and tubs and fill them up. The oxen and the cows grazed in the pastures out by the fields. They could bring them to the well for water. In this manner, Ponna simplified the task of carrying several pots of water and walking the length and breadth of the barnyard. These tasks were easier for Kali. Every day, they needed at least twenty pots of water. How many could Seerayi carry?

  Ponna made one more useful change. She asked for the cattle to be tied up in the vacant field. This way they only had to clear out the dung they had dropped on the floor of the cattle shed at night. It had been quite a while since the two oxen had been put to work, but Kali really pampered them. He did not pay much attention to the cows. It had been seven or eight months since he had used the oxen to operate the picotah, or even the bullock cart. The last time they were put to work was when he ploughed the fields to sow maize. They just lay about lazily in the shade of the portia tree, chewing the cud. Ponna took them out in the morning and tied them up on the mud road in an elevated corner. They were very gentle creatures; even a child could drag them along by the rope. They grazed all day, and at night she fed them ragi sheaths. The oxen were not very fond of the latter; they chewed the husks and left the stem untouched.

  Kali could have planted ragi that year, but he had lost interest in everything then. No kambu millets either. Maize is all they had managed to sow. And only the white kind. All this meant that they had to buy provisions for their domestic use.

  Ponna also moved the sheep enclosure outside. She wondered why Kali had kept everything right inside the barn. As she went about doing these things in his absence, she found herself brimming with ideas. He had organized things to suit his convenience, but that wouldn’t be convenient for the womenfolk. Ponna moved the sheep enclosure out to a spot she could keep an eye on from the barn, and also tied up the dog out there. If anyone happened to walk nearby, the dog would bark. She also placed the sickle, the spear and some thick clubs in various strategic spots. This way, they could be ready for a snake as well as any intruder.

  Soon Ponna got really engrossed in making further changes in and around the barn. So far Kali had done most things himself. And the women carried out the tasks he had set for them. But now everything appeared in a new light to Ponna. While Seerayi was happy at Ponna’s initiatives, she also warned her, ‘Kali might not like all these changes, Ponna.’

  Ponna said, ‘We are not changing too much. If he does not like any of this, he can always change them back to his way. But the fact remains that for this one month we have to do all the work here.’

  The only fields that were unused were the two beside the well. Together, they were about an acre. The only thing growing in one of them were the brinjal plants. The fields had been left vacant for planting ragi or chillies. In fact, as soon as they walked outside, opening the thatched gate to the barnyard, they set foot right on one of these vacant fields. The well was in the adjacent plot. Why did Kali set up the barn at the very edge of the fields? Ponna felt that things would have been easier had he set it up right next to the well.

  When a person takes over someone else’s tasks, it is natural for them to reorganize things and even to feel the previous person had not been doing things right. She told herself that she shouldn’t criticize his work. He had organized things the way they worked for him. That was the right way for him. And this was the right way for Seerayi and herself. The empty plots were useful to keep the cattle tied up and to house the sheep enclosure. The rest of the three acres were lush with maize. Ponna wanted to make sure they got the best of that maize crop. She asked Vengayi to harvest the maize ears that they could see in the fields adjacent to the vacant plots. The job took only a day to complete. The next day she asked Vengayi to cut the maize stalks from the same fields. Seerayi too joined Vengayi that day. As she cut the maize stalks, she said to Vengayi, ‘Her way of doing this is just like Kali’s. She never tells you what is in her mind. Only when you complete a task do you get to see what she had been planning.’

  TWENTY-FOUR

  The women harvested the maize from the two fields, tied it up in bundles and dropped them all in the unused plot of land to dry.

  Ponna then sent for Vengayi’s husband, Chinnaan, to set the picotah and draw water the next day. There was plenty of water in the well. Had Kali planted ragi and used the water for the crop, there wouldn’t be so much water left in it. But he hadn’t, so all the water was stored up in there. Now, for one week, they’d need to irrigate the fields from which they had harvested maize stalks. It would make the crop shoot up again from the root. And since there was also the winter’s moisture in the air, both fields would see a good crop. The oxen cooperated with Chinnaan and made it easier for him to use the picotah and irrigate the channels. In addition to watering the fields, they also irrigated the brinjal patch and the coconut trees. They even quickly filled up all the vats and tubs with water.

  Even though Ponna did not do any of the work herself, everything happened according to her plans. In an unguarded moment, it occurred to Seerayi, ‘Even if he had died, Ponna would have managed the farm work well.’ But she stopped and chastised herself right away for that thought. The womenfolk might be able to do the farming, but was that enough? Kali’s presence in the fields was like the deity Karunchaami himself guarding them. There is a saying: ‘Even if the woman is as strong as an elephant, she still needs a husband, even if he is meek as a cat.’ There was some truth to it, wasn’t there?

  The night they watered the two fields, Ponna said, ‘Atthai, let us build a hut with a wall right here in the barnyard. Perhaps we can just live here from now on?’ The thought had occurred to Seerayi as well, but she wasn’t sure how it would all work out.

  Ponna said, ‘I think we should get used to living here in the barnyard, Atthai. Maama will soon get used to travelling a lot. Then you and I will have to run back and forth between the house and here. Why struggle? We can do all the cooking here. We can store all the dried grains in the village house. When Maama is here, you can sleep in the house. He is not going to kill me if I stay here. I no longer care if he talks to me or not. Let him do as he pleases. I will live right here.’

  ‘How will you both live here, not even looking at each other’s faces? He refuses even to speak to us. How will you handle him?’

  ‘I don’t know if my husband will come
and see the child once it is born. I don’t know if he will pick up the child in his arms. I don’t know if he will think of himself as the father and play and talk to the baby. I don’t know if my child is blessed with the chance to sit on its father’s shoulder. This child is coming very late into our lives. Perhaps it has to rely entirely on its mother. If I stayed in the village, people will ask why my husband hasn’t come to see the baby. What will I tell them? We are already racking our brains to come up with plausible excuses and explanations. But if I moved here, we won’t have to say anything to anyone. I can be at peace. If anyone wants to know what is going on between us, he can tackle them himself. That’s why I want to move here.’ Ponna’s voice cracked as she made her case.

  Seerayi teared up, listening to this. ‘Don’t worry, Ponna. Your child is blessed. All the curses that are on this family are coming to an end, you will see. When Kali tried to hang himself, I thought that was the end of this family. But he lived. And I understood from that. Only good things for us from now on. Be strong. We can move to the barnyard like you say. I don’t know why women in the village are itching to find out what is happening in our family. They are so restless, as if some lizard has wriggled into their saris. If we live in the village house, we will have to respond to all their queries. Yours is a good idea. Let us consult him once he returns and build a wall for this hut?’

  But Ponna had a clear idea of what she wanted to do. ‘No, Atthai. Let us build a new cottage here before he comes back. There is a lot of space in the northern corner. We can build one there. If we consult him, he might even say no. But if we build it now, what can he do after he comes back? Will he tear it apart? Or will he chase us away with a club? And so what if he does? There are plenty of branches on the portia tree.’